27 Things I've learned in 27 years

May 28, 2020

As I enter my 27th year, I wanted to take some time and reflect on things I've learned. My life has been an ever-changing adventure of growth that I'm incredibly thankful for. I hope I can reflect on these lessons in another 27 years and carry forward those that still serve me.

I'm sure these will evolve and grow with me, but for now, these are 27 things I've learned in 27 years. If you find these helpful, insightful, or want to chat further about them, feel free to reach out!

1. We're all human

Even people who you put on a pedestal– celebrities, role models, athletes, changemakers. They're all humans just like you who have their own fears, desires, dreams, and ticks.

2. You can't love from an empty cup

As Lisa Nichols says, "you have to love from your saucer." Fill up your own cup and love from a place of wholeness.

3. You teach others how to love you

Things you say about yourself, the way you treat yourself, the way you respond when you make a mistake– all of these teach other people how you deserve to be treated and loved.

4. Make your subconscious limiting beliefs conscious

The beliefs that were holding me back most were invisible to me– repeated, negative thoughts that kept leading me to self-sabotage. Reading You Are a Badass made me realize how many small, repeated limiting beliefs were actually holding me back from my dreams. I didn't even know what was holding me back until I dug into them. Once I uncovered them, removing them was a no-brainer.

5. You can't control other people

Nobody. Not your family, not your friends, not anyone. You are the only person you can control.

6. Don't let others dim your light just because it's shining too brightly in their eyes

People get uncomfortable when you're too comfortable being yourself. People shift in their seats because loving and being themselves makes them uncomfortable, not you. So don't dim your light, shine it brighter.

7. You are your own best friend

If you aren't kind to yourself, don't stand up for yourself, and don't love yourself, then why should anyone else?

8. You can heal your wounds

You are not broken. Humans are the most resilient creatures in the history of the Earth, and you are the product of survival.

9. Progress, not perfection

Done is better than perfect. This blog is the perfect example– I put this together in two days and it's far from perfect. But it's a start.

10. Listen to your heart

If you have the privilege to be able to do what you want to be doing with your life (or at least try), why are you not doing it? What might you regret? How can you take small steps to move towards it?

11. You deserve to stop and take care of yourself

You are worthy of rest, self-care, and self-love.

12. You are whole and complete just as you are

You don't need anyone else to complete you. And when you love from wholeness, your love is more genuine.

13. Intimate relationships come from vulnerability

It's scary to be open and honest with others. But that's exactly what builds trust and love.

14. Make time to turn off– to rest and recover

"Always on" leads to burnout.

15. Live aligned with your values

Any time I don't feel great about an experience, 99% of the time it was because it didn't align with my values. Use experiences as a guide– what lit you up or what were you missing?

16. Have a vision

Be specific and write it down. Make it real.

17.  Consistent daily action– grow a little bit every day

Jeff Olson said it. James Clear said it. If you make a small consistent changes daily, they compound and grow exponentially.

18. Find your why

Why do you do what you do? Why do you care about your work? Your art? Your hobbies? This is your motivation.

19. Toxic masculinity is a disease

It eats people from the inside out.

20. Stories are universal

Emotions, coming of age, relationships, and growing up are universally human experiences.

21. Nature is healing

Make the time to be outside. Connect to the world around you. Be present on the Earth we're blessed to live in.

22. Magic is everywhere

The way the sun heats up your skin, how animals interact with you, the smell of earth after rain. If you don't see it, you're not looking.

23. Be kind to yourself

Learn from your mistakes, don't beat yourself up, and let go of what holds you back. You deserve the kindness you so readily hand to others.

24. When things fall apart, take care of yourself first

Make sure you're not sacrificing your basic needs to help others, because then you'll be the one in need of help.

25. Art is the purest form of you that you can create

It doesn't need to be pretty. It doesn't need to be understandable. It doesn't need to be liked, even. It just needs to be unequivocally you.

26. The parts of yourself that you reject the most are the ones that most desperately crave acceptance

You know what rejection feels like. It's one of the worst feelings in the world. Yet, there are parts of you inside that so desperately want to be seen and loved, that you reject every single day. How can you find grace and forgiveness for the darkest parts of yourself?

27. Judgement of others is a reflection of the disowned pieces of yourself

Anything in yourself that you dislike, reject, or have disowned will reflect back to you in the people around you. You will constantly see that which you don't accept in yourself until you integrate it into yourself. What parts of your shadow are you disowning?